A few weeks back, I came across an interesting article in Urban on Cougars. No, I’m not talking about the feline animal, but the term that has been coined to older females who date younger men. This scenario is unlikely to be unfamiliar with everyone, especially with the emergence of some high profile older women-younger men coupling in the entertainment industries in recent years. There was the highly-publicized and talk about romance between Nicholas Tse and Faye Wong nine years back, and more recently, the very successful relationship between Demi More and Ashton Kutcher. Be it in Asia or Hollywood though, all these romances have always raised eyebrows because of their unconventionality.
Recently, the creation of a new reality show in the US, The Cougar, which features a 40-year old mum of 4 being pursued by a group of 20 young men in their 20s, seemed to hint that Americans are fast catching on to this idea. However, this still seem to be a touchy topic when taken to the Asian context, as can be seen from the article. There were individuals, high-profile women who are dating younger men, who rejected the interview from the writer because they felt this topic was ‘too sensitive’. Even the men were uncomfortable discussing about it.
So what really is the problem with this coupling? Why are couplings with much older men and young women readily accepted by society but couplings with older women and younger men (even if the difference is only by a few years) stared and fussed at? Is this kind of relationship wrong just because the culture and value passed down from history states that the men in the relationship need to be older then the women?
These are some questions I feel society, or at least the people who still cannot accept this coupling, should ask themselves. Personally, I feel that age does not matter in a relationship because eventually, it is the emotional aspect that ends up more important than the physical and superficial factors. Seeing my parents, who is an older woman-younger man pairing, stay loving even after all these years further strengthened my views on this. It’s also because of this that I never felt there was anything wrong about such pairings and realized it is all just a matter of people’s views and opinions being influenced and imprisoned by the problem called Culture.
I strongly believe that society should try and break free from all the norms and values they are tied down by from the past and learn to accept not only for this situation, but also other controversial and unconventional subjects, to create a more accepting and open society for themselves and the future generations. If that happens, then less prejudices, which is often a common source for hatred, will exist lead to a more pleasant and harmonious society.
(Credit: The Straits Time, Urban, 29/05/09)
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Hello contance (:
ReplyDeleteinteresting post you got there! i definitely agree with ur views especially the last paragraph "I strongly believe that society should try to break free from all norms and values!" however, i feel that it will not be such an easy task since these values & norms have been with us for thousands of years, passed down to us from our grandparents & their grandparents before that. however, compared to our grandparents & the grandparents of our grandparents, i feel that our norms and values have already changed and loosened up alot! its just that these prejuidces still exists inside us whether we know it or not! therefore, i feel that with time, these pregudices will eventually disappear or at least diminish, & we would learn to accept people who are different from us, slowly but surely (:
Honestly speaking, when you came to hear about this particular couple whereby the girl is way older than the guy, people tends to gossip. This is just human nature.
ReplyDeleteBut I personally feel that a couple got together not becuase of their age, looks, family background or whatever that are compatible. It's the mutual feelings for each other that counts. You love the person for who he/she is. And I believe that if the r/s is strong. No matter how great the age gap is, you can still hear the wedding bells ringing =)
Love existed for the purpose of the two fated persons. Not to the random comments and opinions of the outsiders.
i dont think its a male/female thing. i think this prejudice applies to all couples where the age gap is glaringly obvious. age doesn't matter right? let love prevail!!
ReplyDeleteIf one breaks away from traditions and culture what will become of society, religion and so forth? yes it there are couples out there with huge age gaps but i dont think that it should be made such a huge issue about. in fact that probably why those articles have been written. people like those are icon's/ or have huge followings and the question that begs to be answered is that that the message that they want to spread?
ReplyDeletelove shld have no boundaries. age, culture, religion and such shldnt be a obstacle to stop ppl who are truly in love with each other to be togther. its hurt to see couple breaking up due to unable to take those nonsensical gossip and such. we shld encourge all the break free from all the norm and value inset by the older generation.
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